i do not sleep

This is a dream I walked through 

With you 

Before or after you left the earth 

I won't say your name because I shouldn't be afraid

Remember when the leaves wouldn't change 

Until our baggy clothes replaced our summer ones

I retrieve my own clothes for the winter now 

I have a hard time knowing which boxes to look through and which to avoid

The trees were orange and splattered that last November when we walked together

In the dream I can't forget 

The day I hardly remember

But the dream hid under a warm amber 

A slick wind spilling over our heads and you didn't talk when you tried 

But this time you did and you left nothing to imagine

We traced the yard without our feet touching the mud

I wonder if the paramedics dragged it into your room

Mother probably cleaned it like it was yours

I tried to look over

But your face at my hip was obscured

A nest of energy and a collection of expressions that I’d seen before 

You talked like an electric fence 

And I didn't dare to disturb it

I just watched and you took my hand in yours and I felt the current

If only for a moment 

Then it was like it should have been in a dream

Quiet 

Fleeting

Evasive

A weaving consciousness avoiding being seen by its shadow

Just before it ended your face was how I remembered it

Crystal and perfect

You caught my eye as you felt my mind going home

As if to say goodbye before you go too

I think about you

This is the part I remember most

Because this was not earth

And it was not human

And I have no religion  

We met that once in a place no man could have created

No human could explain it

And I am pleased even if I wasn't when I woke in darkness

I met with your soul before god told you that you were allowed one

Since that day I’ve dreamed comfortably 

Because I know what resides in that place

But I do not sleep

I do not sleep easily

I only dream